Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Self Help Community › Forums › Relationships › What makes a relationship last? › Reply To: What makes a relationship last?
I’ve learned that in today’s time that many peoples endurance and tolerance levels for dealing with each other are very limited. I also think that people are very dependent on personal happiness, self-fulfillment, and other trending things in the world. Consequently, these things enter into a relationship and is allowed to dictate the out come of that relationship. Believe it or not, some relationships come together because of small, simple, pure, and innocent moments. Sadly they don’t stay that way. In turn, when testing circumstances come about in a relationship it become very easy for people to take the easy way out. Sadly, there’s just no tolerance to press on past offences.
Fortunately, we are taught many things as a child that helps us prepare for life. Unfortunately, learning how to live in a relationship with the opposite sex is something that we either have to learn by the process of elimination, learn by chance, or simply learn from society. As a child most are we are diligently taught competition in different sports, how to achieve academic success in school, personal beliefs and traditions, and whatever else you know that was constantly impacting you growing up. Even little girls are taught how to contend aggressively with young boys in different sports and in other career fields. Today we are taught how to put ourselves above each other instead of lifting each other up. And we wonder why relationships are difficult to have and don’t last.
There are many things at will help a relationship last.
For One, both parties need to be willing and prepared to endure and sacrifice for their relationship. The truth of the matter is that love hurts and if you are not willing to accept this you are in for a long ride. Also, if you are not willing to suffer or prepared to go the distance, your relationship could be in trouble.
Secondly, both parties need to understand and be realistic that neither of them are perfect. Take off the blinders of love. Do not place unrealistic and holier than thou expectation that you put on each other.
Thirdly, both couples have to agree that nothing outside their relationship and not even their children should be allowed to come between them. Stand together. I hear women say all the time, “my kids come first”. Yes, have your kids best interest at heart, but never choose your kids over each other. Agree to disagree and agree to move past disagreements with a agreed upon solution. Again, never choose anyone over each other. If you do, you will break their heart, lose their trust, and possibly lose them forever.
Next, both parties have to be able to have peace and rest in the presence of each other. You can’t spend all day at work or out side the home battling and fighting with strangers and coworkers and come home to the same thing. The inner circle you have with each other has to be protected by each of you. You both have to foster and open and honest relationship. No “Judgements”. A open and honest response should always be respected and rewarded, versus making them tell you their mistakes. People already know their mistakes and dread telling anyone because of embarrassment. Make it easy for them to tell you their mistakes. Trust me they will love you even more for it if they can find it in themselves to forgive you. It will actually make them trust you a little bit more believe it or not.